Honest conversation here: For a long time I didn’t really believe that racism still existed on a wide spread scale. I believed a few people were likely filled with hatred towards people of color, but I honestly couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that it could possibly be prevalent in our country today.
Perhaps this was because I wasn’t exposed to it growing up and I could never imagine anyone hating someone simply because of the color of their skin. Or perhaps it was because I was influenced by mainstream media who often blamed the victims. But I think more than that, I couldn’t bear to believe and process that such atrocities continue to happen- that people would abuse their authority given to them to help people, or that people think of themselves as more worthy of life just because they are white.
A naive part of me thought it wasn’t possible- that evil like that can’t exist in our world and country. I honestly couldn’t bear to deal with the emotions that would come with the realization that this is true. It was just easier to stick my head in the sand and pretend that it didn’t exist.
But going through counseling the last couple years has taught me that it’s ok to experience negative emotions, and that they won’t kill me. On the contrary, painful emotions can give birth to compassion, comfort, understanding, and the realization that this world is not our final home. And hiding and ignoring these emotions just makes things worse.
Now I’m willing to step into those hard emotions- to grieve with those who grieve and fight for justice however I can. I can recognize that evil and hatred currently exist all around me, but God is still faithful, and that He grieves about these things too.
I admit that I’ve been wrong, and scared, and unsure how to be a part of the conversation in the past, and for that I am grieved. But I’m thankful for the ability to change and grow and recognize the hard truths and fight for those who deserve justice.
I’m also thankful for those who choose to fight for the truth and cause people to wake up and realize what is going on. I’m choosing to commit to helping to be part of the answer, and not part of the problem.