Originally posted on 4/28/2020 at https://www.crosswalk.com/family/parenting/how-to-quit-trying-to-be-a-perfect-parent.html
Deep down in the heart of many parents is a nagging feeling that they are messing up when it comes to raising their children. Most of us parents want to be the best parents we can be and it can be easy to be hard on ourselves when we continually miss the mark.
Just like you can’t be a perfect human, it’s also impossible to be a perfect parent, yet some of us find ourselves desperately trying to achieve this elusive standard. In our humanity, we get tired, irritable, say the wrong things, don’t give our kids enough attention, look forward to bedtime, give them too much screen time, etc. and our standard of perfection is shot.
When my son was diagnosed with various struggles like anxiety, ADHD, and sensory processing disorder, his varied behaviors started to make a bit more sense, but I still struggled with reacting to these behaviors in an unhealthy way.
This led me to start seeing a counselor, and eventually my son started seeing his own counselor as well. It wasn’t until we were both going to counseling at the same time and working on similar things (like controlling our anger and working through anxiety) that I realized how important it was to share my journey towards becoming emotionally healthy with him, since he was on the same journey.
Instead of trying to be the one who always knew better and the one who was always the perfect example, I started trying to empathize with my son when it came to what he was going through.
I learned that teaching my kids the skills of being authentic, being honest about their struggles, and just being a real person is more impactful for their future than me doing (or pretending to do) all the right things and showing up like I have it all together.
It’s been a freeing journey for me, and one that I’m still navigating, but here are a few lessons I’ve learned along the way that have helped me be real rather than perfect.
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