Originally posted on 8/28/2009 at https://www.crosswalk.com/faith/women/biblical-encouragement-for-couples-waiting-to-conceive-11608040.html
God’s Word has so many wonderful verses to comfort and encourage through anything we might face in life. I love when he illuminates certain scriptures to me that stand out for the specific trial I am facing at any time.
Recently, God showed me quite a few scriptures that pertain to my husband’s and my current situation of trying to conceive a child. We have a few friends who are also facing this same situation and while many of them have been trying for much longer than we have, God’s Word remains the same for everyone in this situation. I want to encourage you to continue to believe God for your future child because He is faithful. I also want to share some ways that God uses this time of waiting to actually help us!
Grows and Strengthens Our Faith
Abraham is a great example of faith in the Bible, and his biggest test of faith was believing God for a child. Hebrews 11:11-12 tells us “By faith Abraham, even though he was past age—and Sarah herself was barren—was enabled to become a father because he considered him faithful who had made the promise. And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore.”
Abraham and Sarah are a great example, especially for women who are concerned that they are too old to conceive. I like the way the Amplified Version of verse 11 tells it: “Because of faith also Sarah herself received physical power to conceive a child, even when she was long past the age for it, because she considered God who had given her the promise to be reliable and trustworthy and true to His word.” Sarah’s story reminds us to stop focusing on the circumstances of not being pregnant, and to instead focus on God, who is reliable, trustworthy and true to His word.
Believing God for anything in life grows and strengthens our faith. The more we wait for it, the more our faith can grow (no wonder Abraham and Sarah were such strong examples of faith-filled people!) God gave us an awesome promise in Mark 11:24– “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
One thing He doesn’t promise is to give us what we’ve prayed for when we want it. We have to remember that God doesn’t operate in the finite realm of time like we do. He sees things long term so to Him our prayers are already answered, even if we can’t see it in the natural yet. We are to walk by faith and not by sight, so once we pray we should believe that it is done.
“We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18 The time we spend waiting to get pregnant is only temporary, but God and His promises are eternal. In the grand scheme of our lives, a few months or few years of waiting won’t seem that long in the future when we’re looking back.
Develops Patience and Character
When we accept Christ in our lives and decide to live for Him, it doesn’t mean the rest of our lives will be on easy street. The Bible guarantees us that we will have trials and difficulties to deal with in life. Thankfully, God also gives us a promise that all our difficulties will ultimately end in our good if we keep seeking Him (Romans 8:28).
When we experience difficulties in getting pregnant, we can hold on the joy that God is producing patience and character in us through this trial. “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” Romans 5:3-5
Patience and character not only help us to be better Christians and witnesses for God, but it will also help us be better moms when that time comes! Being a mom is such an important role in your child’s life and it’s comforting to know that God cares enough about us and our future children to prepare us to be good mothers who are patient and full of character.
We may be frustrated at the lack of activity going on in our bodies, but we can rejoice in what is going on in our souls. “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-17
Shows Us Our True Source of Joy
Most people are familiar with Psalms 37:4– “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” This is a great scripture to meditate on and remember, but many people seem to skip over the first part of the verse. The irony is that many people hang on to this scripture so tightly when the desire of their heart seems to be overpowering them, but what the scripture actually says is that when you make the Lord your joy and desire him above all else, then He will give you the other desires of your heart.
If you desire other things more than Him (like having a baby), when that desire is fulfilled that thing will take first place in your heart- a place that is reserved for no else but God Himself. Not only that, but He knows that if you try to find your joy and fulfillment from anywhere besides him, you will end up disappointed and unfulfilled. A baby is a wonderful thing and definitely a blessing and will have a huge part of your heart, but a baby cannot fulfill your love and fellowship need in your life that only God can. If you keep thinking about how you will be so delighted when you finally get pregnant, take this time of waiting to develop a delight in Him that is not dependant on circumstances. “Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.” Psalms 37:5
Teaches us to Rest in the Lord
Psalm 37 has so many wonderful verses that are very encouraging. Like Psalms 37:7: “Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.” Many times we can get so restless when we are waiting for something. If you’re like me and try to plan everything, then it can extremely frustrating when waiting messes up your plans! And can be disheartening when you see other women get pregnant around you, especially those who aren’t married and don’t even want a baby.
The devil will send fleeting thoughts your way like “Why is it that I’m serving God and can’t get pregnant while so many teenagers and people who aren’t serving God are having babies!” Sometimes it seems that people who aren’t doing things God’s way are better off, but in the end they are not and we need to reject these negative thoughts. The only thing you can control is yourself and what you focus on and think about. The verse tells us to be still in God and wait patiently. It doesn’t tell us to worry and make things happen on our own.
What a wonderful thing to be rest in God and be at peace knowing He is working on our behalf, even though we can’t see it yet. When we are able to do this, it gives us a lifelong peace that can’t be taken away.
When we rest in God and trust Him to take care of us, then we stop “trying” to make things happen on our own. Occasionally, a woman tries so hard to conceive a baby but when she finally stops trying, she becomes pregnant! I’ve seen this happen numerous times with couples who have decided to adopt. When you try so hard in your own strength, your body recognizes the strain and stress and it makes it even harder to conceive! God made our bodies work the way they do so we should really follow his instruction manual (the Bible)!
Shows us the Power of God’s Grace
Sometimes it feels overwhelming to want something so badly and yet have to wait so long for it. Yet, everyday God gives us the strength to make it through another day. “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” 1 Corinthians 10:13.
We have to remember that if we are going through something, that means we can handle it because if we couldn’t God wouldn’t have us go through it. And he gives us a way to endure (like the above scriptures). When we feel like we can’t make it anymore, God has more strength and grace to give us. Just like God told Paul, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” And Paul responded to that with, “So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
If you believe that God has promised you a natural child without any fertility help, I encourage you to keep believing and trusting. I am in no way against fertility treatments or adoption. I think adoption is a wonderful alternative and a great model of how God adopted us into His family as His children. The important thing is to listen to what God is telling you for your specific situation. Whether it’s to wait to conceive a child naturally, to start the adoption process or to seek fertility treatments, God’s plan for each person is different and if you keep seeking Him and His will, He will make His plan known to you.
Even with adoption and fertility treatments, you will still encounter waiting and trusting and God will grow you through those circumstances too. I hope and pray that these scriptures comfort and encourage you if you are going through this situation and that you are able to share God’s hope with others dealing with this as well.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4